Tuesday, February 24, 2004

When I was depressed almost a year ago I was talking to a friend and she was confident I'd be fine because as bad as it was then, she was sure she had seen me worse on two seperate occasions. (One of those times I'd agree with, but I'm not sure she was correct about the other - at exactly what point does "depressed and enraged over a breakup" become worse than learning the hard way that I should never mix alcohol and hashish?)

But I'm reminded of that right now. It's been a bad couple days. I did a pretty bad job on one homework assignment and completely didn't hand another in and got last week's homework back with a two point fucking seven five out of ten on it. And all that was partly because sure, they're hard classes, but also partly because I just couldn't be bothered. I've been beating myself up over that stuff, with very good reason. And lately I've been dwelling on the fact that the loneliness that bothers me so much is completely and totally my fault - maybe due more specifically to wimpiness or laziness or cluelessness, but none of those are good alternatives.

But I was doing Arabic homework just five minutes ago and I laughed out loud because a sentence to translate reminded me of a quote from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." If I can burst out laughing at that... yeah. Could be worse.

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