Sunday, May 09, 2004

So, I got in a fight today. Well, if you can call a few shoves and a little grappling a "fight". I should be glad it didn't go farther. An actual fight might have involved Security and might have got a friend in trouble - the girl whose room this was happening in - and might have hurt someone and would have broken every rule Mr. Rotta taught me. (Not literally every rule, obviously, but still.) I should be glad it didn't go farther. But I'm not. Because I truly fucking loathe the guy it was with. It's like how everyone agrees that this or that dictator on the other side of the world is evil incarnate, but they only get in a screaming fit about local politicians or their rude neighbor. Because that's what they have to deal with in daily life. If I try to be objective, he isn't all that bad. He's immature and loud and is pretty naïve, but I've looked past those in other people so that alone shouldn't be why I hate him. Hell, in different circumstances, I might even think he was fun, or at least funny. But in these circumstances, I would cheerfully torture him with my bare hands without a second thought if there wouldn't be any consequences. My younger sister in the worst mood I've ever seen, the guy back in high school who raped a friend of mine, the guy my ex-girlfriend dumped me for - I would happily spend ten minute with any of these people instead of spending 5 with him.

As I was saying, I wish I'd got in a fight with him because tonight was probably my last chance to beat the hell out of that insufferable little shit. But I also wish it because I lost. I mean, those shoves and grappling I mentioned, I came out the worse every time. Sure, there are excuses, but it really sucks.