Monday, November 15, 2004

I've become pessimistic about next semester. I still don't know if my Take Five application will be accepted, and I won't find out until December 1. But in registering for my classes, (which I did late since I thought it wouldn't matter; I already had the instructor's permission for what I thought would be my only selective class), I found that what was offered next semester was very different from what I wanted. I don't know how it happened; I thought I put together my application using the most current info available. So the Take Five Review Board is probably going to see my application and say, "Wait a minute, this is impossible, this program just won't work." This is a hell of a way to finally learn a lesson about putting stuff off. I used to worry about procrastination but I reassured myself that it didn't matter as long as I got the work done in the end. But some papers handed in at the last second and some bad CT weeks have already made it impossible for me to make that claim any more. Missing Take Five on top of that would really suck. I could always reapply next spring, but I don't want to sign up for classes on the assumption that I'll get in and then not make it, which would screw up whatever plans I make for my degree.

But just to show that things could be worse - it didn't take me long to find the positive side of this. If I don't get accepted, then the very difficult question of what to do over the next few months/year is already made: finish school in May and move on. And who cares what classes I take next semester. Since nothing else would be going on, I could manage any of the realistic possibilities. But if I do get accepted, then I'll face some tough choices and soul-searching: run for editor-in-chief? Finish the poli-sci major? Live off-campus for the first time to avoid paying for on-campus housing? Bring a car to campus so I can finally enjoy some degree of independence, Do all of those or some combination, thereby increasing my workload and responsibilities a ton?

I'm reminded of something Katye said a few days ago, for basically the same reason of avoiding a tough choice: "I want to get into exactly one grad school. No more!"


Anonymous said...

Is your life made more or less stressful for knowing that second-semester seniors aren't allowed to apply for Take5?

The problem with not facing choices is that you avoid responsibility for the path your life will take. And eventually when you are forced to make a decision, you won't be able to.

Cyrus said...

Luckily, second semester seniors can apply to Take Five. Or more accurately, they can *re*apply. If you've put in an unsuccessful application before, you can put in another one in your last semester. I don't know why they have that rule. Maybe it's because you find out the results after you've signed up for classes, so not getting in could mean not graduating in some rare circumstances.

And yes, I do realize that choices are good. If I didn't want to get into the Take Five program, I wouldn't have applied, and I'll be pretty pissed at myself if I don't. It's just that I'm trying to err on the side of optimism these days.