Tuesday, March 29, 2005

A few months ago, I read somewhere or other that someone had scientifically determined (by a representative panel or something ridiculous like that) that this is the funniest joke in the English-speaking world:

A 911 dispatcher picks up the phone.
"Hello sir, what do you need - police, fire or ambulance?"

"Ambulance!" The panicked man on the other end blurts out. "Or, or - police, I don't know! Me and my friend were out hunting, and I shot him by accident, and I think - I think he's dead!"

"OK sir, just calm down and relax," the dispatcher says in her best calming voice as she types frantically the codes that will get an ambulance moving. She puts him on hold for just a few seconds while she tells the ambulance where to go and what to expect. When she's back talking to him, she says, "I already have your location through the cell phone you're using, an ambulance is on the way. Until they get there, I can tell you what to do. First of all, I need you to make sure he's dead."

She hears some rustling and bumps as the phone is put down and the man walks away to his friend. Then there's a gunshot.

"OK, he's dead," the man says. "Now what do I do?"

It's funny because it's fucked up. Sooo, er, that said... I found this a couple minutes ago. Rather than link to it directly, I'm linking to the blog where I read about it, because I agree exactly with what Billmon said about it. Combine the biggest case of schadenfreude in human history with the shocked "Oh my god, I can't believe they did that on TV" humor of "South Park," and you'd have a good idea of what Billmon is linking to. And I give that description because frankly, there's a good chance that certain friends of mine might hurt me if I showed them that without warning them. So if you don't think you'd like a mix of "South Park" and schadenfreude, then don't follow those links. Consider yourself warned.

1 comment:

Ophelia said...

OMG... as one who has a tendency to laugh uproariously at dead baby jokes, I couldn't help but laugh. But I agree with the guy, we're all going to hell and apparently the author of that blog is driving the bus. ;-) Thanks for the humor on a Thursday morning.