Tuesday, August 20, 2013

I think I've become more antisocial over the past few months than I was, say, two years ago. Worse at small talk, not laughing at jokes unless I really genuinely find them funny, not worrying so much about getting together with friends, hanging out at Unfogged a lot less, oversharing or being too closemouthed at random. It worries me a bit.

Is it caused by some problem in my head? Maybe I am relapsing into depression. I had a mild case of depression for several years, for which I was both medicated and in therapy. I weaned myself off the medication with help from the therapist, and made some good lifestyle changes, and I'm pretty sure I haven't been depressed in three years in any meaningful sense, but who knows, maybe I'm just falling back into that condition. Or maybe I'm getting complacent because I'm happily engaged, so I can relax about socializing, even in ways I really shouldn't. Or maybe my job is getting to me. I've never been enthusiastic about it, and it's getting worse soon because the office is moving.

But then again, maybe it's a totally healthy response to just not liking people much. Sorry if I don't always feel like playing along with my supervisor's jokes, I don't actually dislike him, he's just not my favorite co-worker, nor even in the top five. Another co-worker I fail to banter with, I actually do dislike. As for feeling pressure to socialize, well, why should I?

1 comment:

Twill Begrand said...

jaysus lad don't worry about things like that things always work out in the end and if they don't your aspirations are set too high. Look it's an innate quality that at the end of the day people don't give a hoot about the next person unless they themselves gain from the relationship so maybe the fact that you don't find someone funny is because their not funny. Also don't remind yourself you had depression for years or you'll only con yourself into thinking that you do again. Head up! Twill be grand. Bit of advice take up a hobby or do something to tick off a bucket list. Also a hobby doesnt have to be a social thing if that's not what your into but just something like exercising (running, swimming) and maybe eventually maybe join a gym to work on the social aspect or a club.