Tuesday, May 24, 2022

ADHD relapse?

Wordle 339 4/6

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Yesterday I biked the kid to school and I went jogging around noon. At work I sent two or three emails (depending on what counts) and had a brief but busy meeting at which I managed to make a meaningful contribution.

That's it, though. Otherwise I was useless yesterday. I had planned to go shopping to get ingredients for dinner, but didn't, so I had to just heat up lo mein from the freezer instead. At work I have a couple long-term or lingering tasks I could have at least tried to get moving, but didn't. I described it as being tired when talking to T. about my day, but "low executive function" might be more technically accurate - I remember that phrase from when I was on ADHD medication. Maybe I should go back to that doctor.

Between dinner and bed we all just relaxed and played our various games. The kid was actually more motivated than us. She was going through Khan Academy options, found some yoga videos, and did a little yoga, and I joined in. Good for her.

Last night I had several weird dreams. 

  • I was playing some kind of Nethack-like game, revealing the map of a cave step by step, but there was something really tense and scary about it, like it wasn't a game, it was a probe I was guiding through an actual monster-infested cave.
  • We were grocery shopping as a family in a big, strange store. For some reason I left before we were done and got potatoes at a different store and tried to rejoin them. I put a lot of thought into making sure that I had my receipt and bringing potatoes from one store into another wasn't a problem.
  • Another grocery shopping trip. We were nearly done but I realized we needed to get a lot of meat. It was near the end of the day and the main registers were already closed, so there was a truly insane line, maybe a hundred yards, for the customer service registers. Presumably no one gets turned away from those. Some helpful person let me cut in halfway through but I hadn't got the meat yet so I wondered if it would be worth leaving and losing this.
I think there was another one or two as well, something in between the shopping trips, but it's already faded. Remembering one dream would be weird, I rarely remember any, but this many? Coupled with what yesterday was like I almost wonder about some chemical imbalance. (Of course, I'm almost never all THAT productive, and the kid had a nightmare and came into our bed last night, and sleep interruptions contribute to remembering dreams. So who knows.)

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