I haven't rushed anywhere since this started. I've rushed A. through bedtime, because she'd stay up until we went to bed if we let her, but other than that? I don't need to be at work or get A. to school at any particular time. The bus schedule doesn't matter too much if I'm just going grocery shopping, and of course, we try to minimize that. There are no more classes, dates, or events.
I used to get annoyed at A. when she'd take her time like a four-year-old does, walking on walls or experimenting with prickly shrubs, when we had somewhere to be, but now, we have nowhere to be. It used to be difficult to find time for things. Now it's a struggle to fill time. Before, I'd try to channel A.'s free time into edifying activities, or at least games I understood. Now, fuck it, whatever keeps her busy, as long as it's not actively harmful.
I feel like I should enjoy the free time, but I don't. I'd prefer that kind of stress to this kind.
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