Instead of writing this fucking entry, I should be actually working. I suck.

Oh well. If - IF IF IF IF IF IF - I can only write this and be done with it, it's small potatoes compared with the time I've wasted on completely pointless stuff. Clearing my thoughts and venting and letting friends know what's going on is worth that, easily. And besides, I'm not that far behind. Well, sort of.

The problem isn't the workload, the problem is how I handle it. (Or so I was thinking earlier, but eventually I want to study that.) Even on my best days there's an hour or so when I'm not doing anything useful or productive, and days anywhere near that good are rare. I wasted several-hour chunks of the last two days for no good reason at all. I wasn't even having fun, most of that time, I was just procrastinating, playing games, and reading discussions I don't really care about.

What could I do about this? Doing my work out of my room helps, obviously, but yesterday is evidence that it's not a miraculous cure-all. (well, duh. Nothing is - I SHOULD STOP FUCKING LOOKING FOR ONE.) In theory working with other people would help. Shame is ten times the motivator guilt is. (Is that meant to be an insightful truth into humanity, I wonder, or just a comment on how I personally think?) Well, that's good in theory, but in practice the only work set that's possible with someone else is the Logic class (which is not going well, BTW) and I don't know anyone there. Well, shit - is there a better way to meet new people??? Talk about stupid of me!