Chicken or egg problem

Wordle 812 3/6

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Yesterday I worked hard on that effort to reorganize how we're tracking document updates. The fact that I could focus on it reduces my concerns about ADHD. It makes me think it's more likely that I just don't like my job. Because damn, is this mind-numbing. 

My mental state seems like it's in a chicken-or-egg problem. I have noticed that exercise has an antidepressant effect on me. I haven't been jogging in a while. I feel like I don't have time. It's the summer but school has started. I'd have to get up VERY early to jog, get cleaned up, and bike the kid to school comfortably. I wouldn't want to jog and bike her to school without getting cleaned up in between because that would be gross. (Then again, maybe it's worth it?) I wouldn't want to bike after 11 AM because it gets too hot for comfort, sometimes even for safety. So that gives me a pretty small window of the day when I can jog, and for the past week I've felt too busy for it. Either actual meetings, or email chains or tasks that feel like I shouldn't put them off.

In addition to not getting the antidepressant of exercise, this also makes me feel bad about falling behind on a responsibility to exercise, sort of. As for what I'm busy with, it's hard to gauge how much it matters. Individually, probably not a lot. Collectively, maybe more. If I'm right to put this time into it, then I have a lot of work. If I'm not, then my job sucks.

So am I depressed because I'm busy? Or do I feel busy because I'm depressed?

Anyways, that was my workday yesterday. I walked to the drugstore in the midafternoon to get some sleeping pills the doctor prescribed me the day before. When the workday was over I took the bus to the U St. area for a date with T. Traffic and construction were so bad that walking would have been faster. But then, by the end of the concert, my feet were killing me so much it's probably just as well I didn't. (Dinner was ramen before the concert.) Afterwards we had ice cream and talked a bit about my problems.

By the time we got off the bus, it was pouring rain, we were soaked to the skin.