Not literally an object lesson in ADHD but it felt that way

Wordle 824 4/6

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Yesterday felt all over the place, busy and stressed, but I have no idea how much that has to do with what I actually had to do, got done, or both.

I saw my therapist in the morning. This overlapped with a meeting for work - a problem from the start. It was less of a problem than I thought it would be but it was still a problem. One of the many things we discussed was plans for the upcoming wedding anniversary. 5 minutes after the appointment I emailed T. with questions about our plans Saturday. She responded 5 minutes after that. Then something on my phone beeped and I saw 11 texts from her in the past hour. In addition to my question about this weekend there was stuff about an upcoming trip, and something unrelated, but even so, that felt like a ridiculous number. 

The school WhatsApp chat has been blowing up for days, too, about drug scares. Not kids using, but users in the neighborhood throwing paraphernalia in the playground. In the afternoon yesterday the kid repeated to me something she had heard about how a certain plastic container had drugs in it that could kill you if you touched them and I had to disabuse her of that. (She got it partly if not entirely from her mother! Not that I don't want the kid to be cautious, but our own credibility is on the line with this sort of thing...) 

Anyways, later in the morning I looked into dinner reservations for this weekend. I had a few moments of panic when I couldn't get reservations at the first two or three places I checked, but eventually I found something decent. I'm not sure how much we would have liked those two or three places, anyway. 

I also worked on scheduling a more thorough psychological evaluation. Not sure how much I need it, as opposed to just making my to-do list shorter.

Work wasn't horrible but definitely wasn't incredibly productive. A lot of little things going on. I moved my to-do list in the correct direction but that's really not saying much.

In terms of stress, I oscillate between "everything is fine except I guess it would be nice to have a little less going on" and "everything is fucked and I'm drowning and something must be wrong with me because I objectively have it better than so many people and I can't even handle that." In terms of happiness, I enjoy lots of things but they're all solitary activities or close enough and I feel guilty asking for even more time to myself. Seems like a bad sign.

Warcraft was surprisingly absent for such a scatterbrained day. Zero WoW between 8 AM and 4 PM. Like 15 minutes around 4:30 but that's was it until the kid was in bed. I wasted lots of time with other things, like rereading years-old posts on Reddit or blogs. By necessity there's a negative correlation between my productivity and my WoW time just because time is zero-sum. There doesn't seem to be a correlation at all between my WoW time and my executive function, because I can dick around pointlessly in WoW or on blogs.

So anyhow, that was my workday. I biked to get the kid from school because conditions were unusually good. T. made enchiladas for dinner. We completely ended covid restrictions and T. came back to our own bed last night. Woo hoo.